We're off to see the wizard...

The wonderful wizard of...

Nevermind.


I'm thinking, this morning, about Jordan's inner-fighter comment to me on Christmas day. I was feeling pretty gone. Not gone in the sense of 'high' or 'drunk.' Gone in the sense that I've been single for far too long, and I was drowning in that unfortunate reality.

I decided to post my New Year's Resolution for 2009 on facebook:

I will not be bothered with women who don't know how to return messages.


It was more a comment, and plea, for self-respect that I haven't had in years' past. I don't know how to have self-respect or -esteem. I've always been a loner, studying the Dharma and falling into my own interests -- intentionally leaving everyone out!

There have been times that I've been in these loose relationships with women, where they don't return my messages. No texts, emails, phone calls, whatever they may be. And that's fine, but you won't get a whole lot of respect from this guy anymore. It doesn't take but a minute to reply "busy" or "fuck off." Its very simple, in fact.

It was also a comment made to let the world know that I'm not playing games any longer. I don't feel the need to have casual sex. I don't feel the need to have loose relationships with women that are going everywhere but forward. I'm DONE with that. If you want to date me, you should probably know that I'm not looking forward to just a once-and-done.


There have been too many times in years' past that I didn't know how to handle myself in situations like those. There have been times that I felt awkward around women, because I didn't have any self-esteem. There have been times that I didn't know how to say "no" to women.

It's over.

It's time for a little self-respect and self-understanding.


Much love,

Rob