Gigantic withdrawal, akin to a shark with a party hat on its head.

Hi folks.

Its been months and months since I've posted on here, and its about time I get back to it, yeah?

My creativity has waned, but my desire to "say something about it" is still alive and strong.


I quit smoking weed about a week ago now, and its been pretty difficult. Yet, not so difficult as today. I'm feeling some fairly extreme withdrawal symptoms, companied with the possibility of having found my muse...my soul-mate. And, sadly, its like running toward one of those people you see in your dreams that you can't run fast enough to get to!

Now, on to why I quit. A couple weeks ago I had a pretty sudden pang of desire to practice Vajrayana Buddhism again. Its pretty strong, as I had a couple realizations while doing meditation and studying the different traditions within its hallowed walls. The reason this led me to quit, is because of the five Pratimoksha vows.

They are:

1) Refrain from killing.
2) Refrain from stealing.
3) Refrain from false speech.
4) Refrain from sexual misconduct.
5) Refrain from intoxicants.

So, there are several types of ways to keep these vows. There are the folks who can keep all of them, the folks who don't keep just one vow, the folks who can't keep 2 or 3, and the folks who can't keep any of them but still vow to take refuge in the three jewels for life.

By smoking weed, I would be violating at LEAST two of these, and very possibly three. I would be taking intoxicants by smoking cannabis. And by smoking cannabis, I am creating some sort of false speech with those around me. I would lie to my parents about the stuff, and some of the folks who really admire me. If the shit was legal, then it wouldn't be such a problem...but its not.

Don't forget...sexual arousal feels REALLY great when you're high.


While I haven't taken the five Pratimoksha vows, it is still extremely beneficial for your practice to keep them. Your mind tends to be more at peace when you're "following the rules."



And, as a being with some form of withdrawal would do, I've been trying to reason with myself so that I can continue to smoke weed. I've been asking other Buddhists what they would do, and how they feel about it. What traditions might allow such a thing. (Even though I consider myself a Nyingma Tibetan Buddhist, my mind tends to go toward the tradition with the most PLEASURE.)

Basically, how can I get AROUND the rule. And simply put, if I want to take the path I'm taking, then there is no way to get AROUND it.


So, I made sure I talked with Dan and Anthony first. Of course, we philosophized about you do what makes you happy, and at peace with those around you...THAT is enlightenment. However, that just doesn't cut it for me. There is something deeper to the mind. Some spirit...some higher, deeper, creative purpose within the depths of the mind that I wouldn't be able to find if I was just mundanely "happy" with the world.

I would be fooling myself -- which I WAS content with for a while.


I should stop. This is a long post. More later.

---Rob